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Lay it Down by Bill Tell

Helping you find freedom by laying down performance-driven Christianity. There is a place for you here. Welcome.

Do Hearing the Lies of Shame mean I am not Mature?

Posted on February 12, 2018 Written by Bill Tell 2 Comments

In my last blog post, I listed 75 statements about you that are lies. They are statements that are rooted in our shame…statements like “I am broken, dirty, unlovable, not enough” etc. Then we looked at how in Christ Jesus they are all lies. In the gospel our identity is not created by what we do or is done to us – but we are given the identity of Jesus. We no longer have the identity of being a sinner, but the identity of being a saint.

 

You are not enough!

 

In the Garden of Eden, Adam and Eve experienced two things as a result of the serpent’s trickery and their resulting distrust of God. They experienced both shame and guilt. The shame told them something was wrong with them and therefore they needed to hide – from one another and from God. Shame always does that. It makes us hide the real us from one another. We hear the lies of shame and sew together fig leaves to hide from others because we still think these lies about us are true.

The good news of the gospel is that Jesus took both our guilt and our shame to the cross. II Corinthians 5:21 sums it up so well, “For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.” This is the great exchange…our sin for his righteousness. God both declares us to be righteous (our justification) and actually implants the DNA of righteous in us (our new nature).

So what do we do when Satan still whispers…and sometimes shouts…these old lies of who we are in our ears? I used to think that one of the indicators of being spiritually mature was I would not hear these lies anymore. But I have changed my mind. I still hear them. Satan uses them constantly against me because every time I believe one of the lies I am invalidating the work of Christ.

So what do we do when we continue to hear that we are not good enough… unacceptable…stupid…a failure? I think the first thing I need to do is what Jesus did as he hung on the cross and heard Satan flinging all kinds of shame statements at him. Hebrews 12:2 tells us he “despised the shame.” Other translations use the words “disregarding” or “scorning.” I like “disregard.” It means to ignore! And I cannot ignore something that is not really there!

I have come to the conclusion that Satan will continue to bombard me with lies. They will be there. He is the “father of lies” (John 8:44). That is his nature and his key strategy. But now because I am in Christ and know these lies are just that, lies – you know what I can do?  The same thing Jesus did on the cross: ignore them!

So is spiritual maturity growing to a point that I no longer hear these shame statements?  I don’t think so. I think maturity is growing to the point where I know and trust the truth, and so can ignore the lies. I just ignore them because I know they are not true.

After I ignore the lies, there is one other thing I need to do. That’s next.


PS: In my book, Lay it Down, I deal extensively with how the gospel sets us free from shame. If you have not yet read it, Amazon has a copy waiting for you!!

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75 Statements about You That Are Lies!

Posted on January 23, 2018 Written by Bill Tell Leave a Comment

When I look at my behavior, I can’t help but make the same observation that the Apostle Paul did in Romans 7:15, “For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.” After looking at his behavior, he struggles with the temptation to allow his behavior to create his identity. In verse 24 in anguish he calls himself a “wretch.” That is his shame word for himself.

As believers, our natural tendency is to do the same thing, to allow our behavior or others behavior against us, to create our identity. We probably use words more like those listed below.

But here is the good news. For believers, our behavior never creates our identity. The obedient, sinless behavior of Jesus creates our identity. We are saints. No place in the New Testament are we as believers ever given the identity of a sinner. Sixty times we are given the identity of a saint.

So what do we do when these shame words and identities flood our mind and try to define us? We do as Paul did in Romans 7:24. First he acknowledges that the solution was not in himself. He cries out, “Who will deliver me from this body of death?” He knew he could do nothing to work or perform his way out of his shame. He knew it would take a redemptive act.

 Then he embraced the solution that was outside of himself and beyond his effort – the work of Christ Jesus in taking both our guilt and our shame to the cross. In Romans 8:1 he declares the miraculous freedom from the identity and condemnation that our behavior tries to paste on us. “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”

Do we still sin? You bet. Do stupid and unwise things? Absolutely. But here is the good news – because of the gospel our behavior no longer creates out identity. God the Father looks at us through the obedient life of Jesus and credits that to our account. Jesus’ behavior creates our identity. We are saints.

Now we have a choice. We can either believe Romans 8:1 or live back in Romans 7:24. Paul looked at his behavior and felt like a “wretch,” but he held on to the truth of Romans 8:1. Here are some words that when we look at our behavior might describe how we feel about ourselves. But in Christ Jesus, every one of them is a lie. (I collected these from sources I have now forgotten – so if you know their source let me know so I can give appropriate credit.)

75 Lies about Who I Am

I am defective (damaged, broken, a mistake, flawed)

I am dirty (soiled, ugly, unclean, impure, filthy, disgusting

I am incompetent (not good enough, inept, ineffectual, useless)

I am unwanted (unloved, unappreciated, uncherished)

I deserve to be abandoned (forgotten, unloved, left-out)

I am weak (small, impotent, puny, feeble)

I am bad (awful, dreadful, evil, despicable)

I am pitiful (contemptible, miserable, insignificant)

I am nothing (worthless, invisible, unnoticed, empty)

I deserve criticism (condemnation, disapproval, destruction)

I fell ashamed (embarrassed, humiliated, mortified, dishonored)

 

I have no right to exist

I am inadequate

Something is wrong with me

I am not worth loving

I am a mistake

I don’t belong

I deserve to be abandoned

I am ugly

I am dirty

I am a burden to others

I don’t count

I am nothing

I deserve criticism

I am unwanted

I am worthless

I am dishonored

I am not good enough

I am humiliated

I should not be

I am stupid

 

 

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: Lies

The Most Dangerous Circumstance – Being Alone

Posted on September 26, 2017 Written by Bill Tell 2 Comments

In this new series, we will look at four intensely intertwined realities: The most dangerous circumstance we can be in...being alone. The most dangerous emotion and how it fosters and perpetuates this dangerous circumstance...being ashamed. … [Continue reading]

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Lay it Down – Living in the Freedom of the Gospel

Lay it Down – Living in the Freedom of the Gospel

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  • Do Hearing the Lies of Shame mean I am not Mature?
  • 75 Statements about You That Are Lies!
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