Reflecting back on the fire that destroyed 500 homes and left ours standing has not been easy. My mind wants to make some sense out of what happened…what happened to us and what happened to our friends and neighbors that are left with piles of ash. But I have decided that trying to make sense out of it all, trying to discover the “whys,” is the wrong path to walk. The path I am choosing to take focuses on a phrase, a word, and a prayer.
(The fire crossing the road behind us)
First the phrase…and it is not “the grace of God.” I would have a hard time looking at a foundation full of ashes and saying, “Ah, the grace of God.” It might be right, but oh so hard. And so the phrase I have been focusing on is “the will of God.” This helps me. I do not need to understand the will of God.
And that brings me to the word that has been helping me, and that word is “mystery.” The will of God is mysterious and there are many who experience mysteries of God’s will that are far more difficult and painful than a fire. I can live with the mysteries of God’s will because I know God.
And so the prayer. Just because God’s will for our lives at times is deeply confusing and mysterious, and our hearts long for “whys” that we will never hear, it never diminishes God’s trustworthiness. No matter how deep and painful the ways he might lead us, he can always be trusted. And so my prayer is that God will use the twists and turns of his will to deepen my trust in him.